Of Course

Apr 25, 2023

We are going on vacation Sunday and I scheduled a pedicure in-between meetings so the local residents do not run in horror when they see my sad, neglected toenails.

I was sitting with my feet in sudsy water having survived the cuticle poking, getting ready for the foot massage and pretty pink color I picked (pink raspberry!) when my cell phone rang - my daughter’s school.

Well…crap. We all know what that means.

The nurse (also named Karen!) told me my youngest was in her office with a temp of 102 which you know is 103 because …ear thermometers.

I called my husband to see if he could come and get her. It wasn’t ideal for him because of his work and then he said “plus I haven’t had lunch yet”......

And so we dried my feet, I paid for the not- manicure and drove to pick her up, bring her home and get the motrin/gatorade/chicken soup/ice pop parade going.

Why am I telling you all this?

There would have been a point in time where I might have gotten bent out of shape about the whole ordeal. My brain would have a heyday. Why does this always happen to me, why do “I always have to do everything”  now it is probably covid, we won’t get to go on our trip, why can’t I ever get a break, and on and on and on. The more deprived I was of time to take care of myself, the louder those thoughts would be.

Which would only make me feel worse about all of it.

I don’t do that anymore.

Instead…..I just think: Of course. Not in a throw your fists in the air “why god” kind of way.

This is just an acceptance. Of course this happened. This is exactly the sort of thing that happens to humans.  I get to decide how I want to show up for my daughter and myself. 

For her I want to be patient, concerned, loving, present. For myself I want to be compassionate and sufficient. 

I could feel guilty that part of me really wished I had been able to finish my pedicure and spent a good two minutes trying to find an alternate solution.

I don’t.

I could be resentful that the universe conspires against me- I’m not.

I stay even keel and just…move on.

One of my clients called this “sailing along”.

MA rooms patient late…. Of course. Patient emails about their lab result that came back 5 seconds ago…of course.

This doesn’t mean we don’t take action, set boundaries, improve workflows, optimize, re-educate staff, advocate, all the things.

But human stuff is STILL always going to happen to us and when we are ready with an “of course” mindset  it makes it so much easier to keep going.

That is really what I care about. Making it easier for myself to do the things that matter to me and show up in a way that aligns with the real me. And this helps me do that. I hope maybe you will find it helps you too.



Ps Right as I finished writing this she spilled Red Gatorade all over the coach after I told her to make sure the cap was on tight. Of course!!!